Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
