we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
