Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
