we're chasing vodka with high fives
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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