i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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