Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
