she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
