I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
