why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
