on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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