Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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