dude i'm inner monologue high
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
