i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
