awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
