it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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