There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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