I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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