So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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