I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
