I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
