I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
