I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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