awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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