Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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