my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
