Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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