just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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