the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
