wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
