STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
