I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I don't deserve a penis
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
