Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
