so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
