Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
