hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I cannot find my penis.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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