I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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