there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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