Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
