Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I have aggressive nipples.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
