I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
