grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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