he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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