Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
