i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
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