So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
