every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
i think im in europe. pls send help
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