she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
