I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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