I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
