ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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