How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
