Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
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